Welcome to Day 13 in our 31 Day series on A Mom’s Guide to Getting it All Done. In case you missed yesterday’s post you may want to go and read it first. Or just jump in right here with us today.
Let’s chat about mentors and how valuable they are in our journey as moms. In order to figure out what we need to focus on and how to get everything we are called to do done we need wise women in our lives who can encourage and guide us.
First I want to share a little about my story with mentors. Unfortunately it’s not a story I’m very proud of in the begining but I feel like it’s important for me to share just in case you are in the same shoes and could benefit from what I have learned.
As I began on my mothering journey I began to seek out a mentor and found some women that I thought were amazing. My hopes were often dashed though as I would find out that they weren’t perfect. They missed the mark in some areas and I would decide to keep looking. This wasn’t always a conscious decision but rather a result of disappointment and a decision that I needed someone who really knew what they were doing to be the one I let guide me and counsel me through the difficult road motherhood.
In all my years of looking I never found her.
I want to stop here and address my own heart issues that kept me in a cycle of pride. I desperately wanted to be the best, do the best and exceed them all. I was pretty certain that I could. In looking for the perfect mom to mentor me, I actually weakened my ability to be a great mom because I didn’t accept help in learning how to do better, grow through mistakes and see things coming down the road because of a wiser woman’s experience. I was blind and foolish.
I had made an inner vow to not be like those moms and in doing so I agreed with a lie that those moms were not worth being like. The lie tied me to failure and cursed me to a crazy cycle of defeat. I finally found my way and had to repent for believing the lie and ask God to flood my heart with His truth.
My awakening began a few years ago when I saw a woman. She was a mom, an older mom. She had some grey in her hair and lines danced on her face as she smiled and chatted with me about her family, her home, her faith and her calling. Then she said words that made me catch my breath for a moment. She said she felt invisible. Like younger women didn’t see her anymore.
I had seen her that day, alone at a table, but would I have normally chosen to sit with and converse with her? I had to ask myself that question as I looked into her hurting eyes. How could we not see this woman? She had been through so much, had older children than I and was willing to tell me what she thought she had done right and what she feared she had done wrong.
How could I not have heard her all those years before?
God began to do a work in my heart and has continued it as I now have several mentors who are ahead of me in life. They are as imperfect as I am but even their wisdom on what not to do (because of their own mistakes) is so very valuable to me in that I can learn from them and not make the same mistakes. My mentors are godly women who love God with all of their hearts, are actively growing in Him and have chosen to pour into me. I am so grateful to them and so thankful that God dealt with my pride so that He could bless me with these amazing relationships.
Tomorrow I want to talk about how to find a mentor if you don’t have one. Several women I know have said that they really want a mentor but don’t know how to get one. Before you attempt to find one make sure you aren’t in the same place that I was and are excluding amazing women from your list of possible mentors because they aren’t exactly what you think they should be. If you get to know them I think you’ll find out that, even with their imperfections, they have a lot to offer you.
I’ve come to realize that sometimes women don’t listen to potential mentors because they have hurts in their relationships with their own mothers that they haven’t dealt with. If you think this may be the case for you ask God today to show you the root of this and to speak the truth to your heart. Forgiving her is the first step toward healing and becoming whole. I’m praying for you today as you think about your relationship with women who are ahead of you in life.
See you back here tomorrow for Day 14 in our A Mom’s Guide to Getting it All Done series. If you’d like to get the posts straight to your email inbox click here to sign up.
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