One morning I woke up early to my baby’s cries of hunger. The sun had yet to appear and I was less than thrilled about the idea of getting up. At the time I had 4 children ages 5 and under and simple things like showers were hard to accomplish in a day. Sleep seemed almost as hard to catch up on as the never-ending piles of laundry.
Begrudgingly I tossed aside the covers and went to nurse my little one. She fell asleep quickly with a full tummy and I could hardly wait to get back to my cozy bed for a couple more hours of sleep. Before I made it back to the bed I had this thought, this longing, that had been stirring up more and more in me lately. “I miss you God,” I thought. “I wish I had time to spend with you.”
Fortunately for me, I had heard from countless sources at this point that God understands what it is like for busy moms. I had been assured that praying in the shower {when I actually got one} would keep my relationship with Him going enough until I could keep my head above water so-to-speak and start having quiet time again. With my devotional for “busy moms” on my nightstand and weekly church services, I would make it. “This is just a season of life,” I told myself.
Having this knowledge made it easy for me to extend grace to other moms too. New moms would ask me how I fit it all in and I would say “God knows where you are. He understands. You’ll get back to your quiet times eventually.”
It pains me now.
I have often thought that I wish I could apologize to every mom I ever said that too or agreed with.
There is really no shame or condemnation associated with being a mom that “didn’t have time” because it really is true that God understood where I was at. He knew perfectly well that I had a lot on my plate. Now I know that He didn’t want me to spend time with Him just for His sake but because He knew I desperately needed it. I was weary and I needed Him to give me strength that only comes from waiting on Him.
We have a choice, every day, new baby or not. Our own strength or His? My strength only gets me so far and it’s usually as far as not getting much accomplished and being exhausted. His strength carries me farther than I could dream of getting. His strength gets me to being the best mom I could ever be.
So, I would challenge you, whatever you do have time for in your day (checking email, even laundry) take a few minutes out of it to spend in God’s presence seeking Him first. Read His Word and ask Him to give you wisdom. I promise you that what you get out of it will more than make up for a few more minutes of sleep. I really wish that someone had looked me in the eyes back then and told me truthfully “God knows what a busy season you are in and He is the only one who can sustain you through it.”
Of course, there is grace for those of us who have listened to the whispers of the enemy telling us that God understands how busy we are. We just start where we are. Instead of beating ourselves up we just fall on our knees in repentance and humility before an all-loving God. He waits with open arms to love on us and teach us how to be the best we can be each day.
oh my. this hits home. I’m 7 years into motherhood and finally, finally realizing that though I have felt abundant grace from my Father for not being more self disciplined, nevertheless, it is time with Him that really will get me through my days. I, too, wish someone had spoken this truth, ever so gently, into my heart years ago. The reality is, a solid 8 hours of sleep is no guarantee that I won’t become monstermommy at some point in my day. Only time in His presence can equip me for my day. I’ve begun getting up at 6:30, despite that I am 6 months post partum with a babe who still nurses 2-3 times in the night. That was always my valid excuse to sleep in before. Now, I go about my day tired–oh, so tired–but my heart is at rest. His presence truly is the only thing that gets me through.
Bless you, Kristin, for being brave and willing to speak this truth in a gentle, non-condemning way.
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Thank you Trina! I wish someone had told me earlier on in mothering for my sake and my kids! So glad that you are making that choice and sacrifice. You put it so well. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t be tired or dragging throughout your day but rather that you will have peace in the midst of the hard. That’s a good truth. I know your time with God will continue to be a blessing to you and your kids! Love, Kristin
Amen, amen, amen! Thank you for this truth. I struggled to find a consistent quiet time for two and a half years after becoming a mom. Now, finally, I’m doing it. I’m thriving. I can’t believe I ever let my tiredness and overwhelmed-ness get the best of me and keep me from intimacy with God.
Thank you for that word. Timely exhortation.
It is a struggle for me to neither beat myself up for missing a day nor to just give up and let it go. I want to depend on His strength daily!
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