I have the incredible privilege of being a big sister to 4 sisters (and have 5 brothers too).  My sisters mean the world to me and I treasure each of our relationships.  One of my sisters, Rachel, just got engaged last month to a great guy named Daniel.  I am beyond thrilled for both of them and as I thought about how to say congratulations in the most meaningful way I thought I would share some of the incredibly valuable lessons I have learned in my 16 years of marriage.

Rachel, this is for you.  I pray that every day of your marriage is blessed and that you would live your married life in such a way that brings glory to our heavenly Father.  I love you!

Thoughts on Marriage & Making it Last:

Pray together every day.

Ask God to show you how your husband needs to be loved everyday.

Don’t fight quite as hard to be right as you do to gain understanding.

Decide to hold loosely to offense.

Remember that you are the only one who gets to hold his hand, be on his arm and snuggle close in bed and don’t take these things for granted.

Take care of yourself for you, for him and for your marriage.

Dream together often and take steps towards those dreams intentionally.

Just be with him. He wants you close no matter what it is you are doing.

If you get frustrated or don’t see any change don’t nag just pray and be willing to turn your critical eye on yourself.

Help him to honor his parents. Do everything in your power to keep the peace with his mother. He is commanded to honor her. Help him in this task.

Just decide it and say it: “no matter what, I’m going to stay with you and love you.”

Never threaten divorce.

Seek security not from him but from the Lover of your soul. This security cannot be rocked by any man.

Believe that God created you to be a good wife and walk in that calling with confidence.  Even when you fail.

Listen more than you speak. Speak truth in love.

Err on the side of respect.

When you don’t agree with him be slow to speak and quick to listen.  Let your tone say “I respect you” even when you disagree.

Find out his love language and speak it. Every day.

Trust him and be his biggest supporter. Even when he wants to take risks.

You are his greatest teacher about you. Teach him honestly and lovingly. He wants to know you and how to please you.

Be teachable, pursue a soft heart and keep your eyes wide open to your shortcomings. Be real about them and learn to accept your weaknesses and his.

Laugh a lot, at yourself, at him and together.

Congratulations Rachel & Daniel!! May the two of you see your dreams come to life as you unite your hearts as one.

All images in this post are by the incredibly talented Grain & Compass, are of my sis and her new fiance and have been used with permission. Go check out some of their other amazing work!